Chapter 18: Stillness
The road stretched on, long and empty, broken only by the occasional blur of trees rushing past. The car hummed steadily beneath us, but the silence inside grew heavier with each passing mile.
Nora's fingers, still brushing lightly against my temple, moved with a slow, rhythmic ease. The ache in my head faded, not completely, but enough to make me unwilling to pull away.
I hated how easy it was to let her touch me, how much worse the silence would feel if she stopped.
I tried to focus on the horizon, to push down the warmth curling in my gut, but it was impossible with her so close.
The scent of her soft, sweet, and familiar hair clung to the air between us. Her shoulder still pressed against mine, and every subtle shift she made only deepened the weight sitting in my chest.
"You're really not going to fight me on this?" Her voice was a whisper, teasing but softer than usual.
I exhaled, forcing my tone to stay flat. "Does it matter if I do?"
She laughed under her breath, low and smooth. "No," she admitted, fingers drifting down to the side of my neck. "Not really."
From the front seat, Dorian shifted, adjusting the sun visor with a snap. The sound broke the fragile quiet like a crack in glass.
"Do you even know where you're going?" Cassandra asked, her tone sharper than it needed to be.
Dorian scoffed, his knuckles tightening on the steering wheel. "I’m following the damn GPS, Cassandra. I don’t need you hovering over my shoulder like I’m about to drive us off a cliff."
"Funny," she said, leaning back with a pointed sigh. "I’ve never had a problem with you 'hovering' me before."
His fingers drummed against the wheel, loud in the tense space. "Yeah, well, maybe you used to have more patience."
I felt Nora's hand still against my neck for just a second before she resumed her slow, casual tracing, like their arguing didn’t exist.
Dorian let out a low breath, shaking his head. "Must be nice, sitting there all cushy while I’m the one stuck driving."
Cassandra arched a brow, her voice smooth but sharp underneath. "You insisted."
"And why wouldn’t I?" He laughed dryly. "If I left it to you, we’d still be circling the neighborhood while you 'checked the scenery'."
"Right, because clearly, you’re handling things so well," she shot back, crossing her legs. "I’m shocked you haven’t run us off the road yet."
His grip on the wheel tightened, the muscles in his forearm flexing. "You know, you could try saying thank you for once. But no, you’d rather sit there acting like I don’t don’t do a damn thing."
Cassandra rolled her eyes, leaning against the door. "Oh, please. Let’s not go there, Dorian. It’s a car ride."
"And why wouldn’t I?" His laugh was bitter. "Not like I’ve got anything else on my schedule, right? Must be nice having everything figured out while I’m just, what? A deadweight along for the ride?"
Her lips curled into a faint frown. "I didn’t say that."
"You didn’t have to." His knuckles flexed against the steering wheel. "I know what you’re thinking. Same thing you always think. No job, no nothing. Just your personal house husband that doesn’t listen to you."
The air felt heavier, pressing against my chest.
"You really want to go there?" Cassandra’s voice dipped, cold and even. "Because last I checked, no one’s forcing you to be here, Dorian. If you hate it that much-"
"Oh, don’t give me that." He scoffed, cutting her off. "What? You want me to walk out and magically become a better man? Sorry, I must’ve left my miracle cure in the liquor cabinet."
I heard her inhale sharply through her nose. "Maybe if you stopped treating yourself like a lost cause-"
"Yeah, because it’s that simple," he snapped, his words razor-sharp. "I’ll just wake up one day, flip a switch, and suddenly everything I’ve screwed up disappears. That how it works?"
"You’re not a victim, Dorian," Cassandra bit out. "Stop acting like the world’s out to get you when you’re the one throwing yourself in a ditch."
Nora shifted against me, her hand sliding from my neck to my wrist, her touch light but grounding. She didn’t speak, didn’t even glance toward them. But she didn’t let go either.
Dorian gave a bitter laugh under his breath. "You always did like pretending you had all the answers. Must be easy when you’ve got everyone dancing to your tune."
"I’m not the one making excuses," she shot back, her tone cooler. "But fine. Blame me if it makes you feel better."
The car lurched as he made a sharp turn, his grip still iron-tight. "I’m not blaming you," he muttered. "I’m just done pretending I’m the only one with problems."
I swallowed the unease building in my throat, trying to focus on the blur of trees outside. But even that wasn’t enough to block out the tension hanging in the air.
"You always make it about you," Cassandra said, her voice thinner now, tired. "Like I’m sitting here living some perfect life while you suffer in silence. Give me a break."
Dorian’s fingers twitched against the wheel. "Yeah? What do you want me to say, huh? That I’m some loser who can’t get his act together? That what you want to hear?"
"No," she said, her tone cooling further. "I want you to stop acting like you’re fighting against the whole world."
His knuckles tightened. "Right. Because you don’t just love to sit and talk about my failures all the time."
The inside quietened down. For a while, the car just hummed with the sound of the tires against the road. But then-
"You’ve been on edge lately," Dorian said, too casually, his eyes still locked on the road. "What, trouble in paradise?"
Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Don’t start."
He laughed under his breath. "What? Just curious. Everyone’s so tense all the time." His voice dropped, slower. "Especially her."
I stiffened before I realized he meant Nora.
"Careful," Cassandra warned.
But Dorian only smirked. "Oh, relax. I’m just saying, it’s not like anyone’s missed how… attached she is."
I felt Nora’s grip on me tighten, not hard, but deliberate.
"And what about it?" Her voice was smooth, but there was a sharper edge underneath.
Dorian tilted his head slightly, like he was weighing how far he wanted to push. "Nothing. Just interesting, that’s all."
Cassandra pinched the bridge of her nose, her patience wearing thinner by the second. "God, can you just drop it?"
Nora’s fingers flexed around my wrist, her voice cool but pointed. "Right, because everything’s our fault," she muttered. "You’re just a helpless victim, huh?"
Dorian’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. "Watch it," he warned, his tone low.
"I’m just saying," she went on, tilting her head slightly. "You’re acting like we’re out to get you, but no one’s stopping you from-"
"From what?" He snapped, cutting her off. "Magically fixing everything? I’m already doing the best I can, not that anyone here gives a damn."
Nora’s antennae twitched. "Yeah? Well, maybe if you actually talked to us instead of blowing up all the time, things wouldn’t be so impossible."
Dorian let out a sharp breath. "And what, you’re the expert now? Spare me the lecture, you’re just parroting what she says."
I felt her tense beside me, her grip on my wrist tightening. "No one’s feeding me lines," she shot back, quieter but no less sharp.
His laugh was dry and bitter. "Right, because you’ve got it so hard. Must be rough, living in a house where everyone’s falling over themselves to baby you."
I felt something hot twist in my throat, rising up before I could stop it. "Don’t talk to her like that," I snapped, my voice rougher than I expected.
Dorian’s head jerked slightly. "What did you just say?"
"You heard me." The words burned on my tongue. "At least she gives a damn… you just sit there and blame everyone else."
His jaw clenched, the muscles ticking under his skin. "Watch your mouth, brat."
I leaned forward, heart pounding in my chest. "Why? You don’t care about anything except feeling sorry for yourself. Nora’s the only one who ever-"
"Don’t act like you know anything about this family," Dorian cut in, his voice dropping into something colder, meaner. "You’ve never belonged here, you- you’re just a parasite, sucking up everything you can get while fucking us all over our asses!"
The words hit harder than I wanted to admit. It felt like something bitter was rising from beneath, wanting to tear me apart.
I felt Nora stiffen beside me, her grip on my wrist vice-tight. Her face paled, eyes darting toward me. Widened and stricken, like she was afraid of something. "You can’t talk to Markus like that!” she said, her voice wary and sharp.
Dorian scoffed, but his knuckles were white against the wheel. "What? Afraid I’ll say what everyone else is thinking?"
"Shut the fuck up, Dorian!" Cassandra snapped with an exasperated edge to her voice.
But he didn’t stop. He never did. His knuckles clenched white on the wheel, jaw tight with rage. "Oh, what? You gonna keep coddling him? Acting like he’s not dragging us down? Someone needs to say it, he doesn’t belong here, and you know it."
A sharp heat flared in my chest, and before I could stop myself, the words were already out. "At least they care enough to try," I snapped, the words spilling out before I could stop them. "All you do is tear us down when we’re already falling apart!"
His laugh was cold, jagged. "Trying? Is that what you call it?" His gaze flicked to the rearview mirror, full of venom. "All you do is take. You’re nothing but a parasite, feeding off everything, giving us bad luck, and still acting like you’re owed more."
I leaned forward, my fists clenching at my sides. "Better a parasite than a washed-up drunk who blames everyone else for his screw-ups!"
That did it.
"Markus-" Nora’s voice was tight, her hand squeezing my wrist, but neither of us could stop now.
Dorian’s head snapped toward me, face twisted with something darker, meaner. "You ungrateful little fu-"
His voice cut off as the car veered sharply.
The world tilted.
For a breathless second, time slowed. The tires skidded against the asphalt as the car swerved into the next lane. My stomach lurched, cold fear flooding every inch of me.
A deafening horn blasted through the air.
Headlights, blinding and too close, flared in front of us. A massive truck bore down, the glare swallowing everything else.
I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move.
The noise became a distant roar as my heart pounded in my ears. For a split second, all I could think was…
this is it.
The horn ripped through the air, loud. Piercing.
Dorian’s head snapped forward. His hands jerked the wheel.
A shuddering impact slammed through the car. My body whipped forward against the seatbelt.
Pain exploded in my chest.
Glass cracked. Tires screamed against asphalt.
Nora’s hand tore from my wrist as the world tipped sideways.
Her voice, sharp and panicked, cut through the chaos.
Cassandra’s arm shot out, bracing against the dashboard.
Her face was tight, pale. Her mouth agape.
Dorian watched in disbelief.
His grip twisted on the wheel as the car spun.
The lights. Blinding.
A sick crunch.
My heart slammed in my throat as everything jerked to a violent stop.
-/_*---
stillness
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